


the book of love has no labial consonants

by cosmogyral



Series: Trollish for the Easily Excited [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Language Kink, Languages and Linguistics, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-01
Updated: 2011-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Uh," says John, bilingually. "Um."</p>
            </blockquote>





	the book of love has no labial consonants

So Karkat's yelling at him in Troll. That means that, if time still had any meaning in the Veil, it'd be a day ending in y. On Alternia it'd be a day ending in _hroht_ , John guesses. That doesn't help.

"No, of course, why would I have a problem with that!" Karkat yells at him. In Troll. "In fact, next time, sell tickets. Come one, come all to the Pail Parade. Terezi can make the posters, they'll be in fucking technicolor. There can be a cartoon of you sucking my nook. If you want we can label it so even Eridan can understand what the hell's happening. JOHN, KARKAT, REVOLTING PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF WEAKNESS."

"Geez," John says, valiantly keeping a straight face. John's life is a difficult one, but that is why he is the Heir of Being Super Cool. "I don't know, Karkat. I don't think that'd sell very well."

"Finally, some English up ins," Dave is saying to Rose, as Karkat inhales for another volley. "You want to give me some closed captions here?"

"You know, you're right!" Karkat jabs a finger in John's direction. "We wouldn't sell many tickets because I cannot imagine ever filling a pail with you voluntarily. I would rather stab myself in the eye with two rusty foodtongs. I would rather go down on Aurthour. I would rather sleep with Kanaya."

"Excuse me," says Rose, with enormous affront. To Dave: "He's impugning _everybody's_ honor."

"What was that thing he kept saying?" Dave says. "Ahose?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"Guys," John says, pleadingly. "It's kind of hard to concentrate on my fight with my boyfriend--"

"Oh, I am _not_ your boyfriend," Karkat says. "I'm not your boyfriend, I'm not your moirail, I am not your matesprit. And before you get any bright ideas I wouldn't condescend to be your kismesis if you were the most foulsmelling grubfucker in the world, which is lucky, because _that is what you are._ "

" _Tans'enga,_ " Rose says. "From _tans'e_ , fated partner, and _'enga_ , the inflection for hate."

"Wow." Dave whistles. "I did not think there was a word that could sound stupider than kismesis, and yet--"

"And now your friends are sitting there acting like I'm a fucking Speak and Say!" Karkat yells. "I'll tell you what the goddamn cow says, you nooksucking cunts, the cow says _this is not your free dinner and a show!_ "

"Nooksucking," Rose says, in meticulous English, "and, of course, cunts."

John claps both hands over his ears. "I'm not listening any more."

"Right, typical, just ignore every rational point I--"

"And I'm not promising not to make out with you in the lab anymore!" John adds, in a rush. "You're just going to have to deal with it!"

There's a silence. After a minute, John lowers one of his hands.

Rose and Dave are staring at him, of course. Karkat's speechless. His face is flushed so dark it's a miracle he ever covered up his blood color at all.

"Sorry," John says. "I mean, I'll--"

Karkat swallows. "Did you just speak Troll?"

"Uh," says John, bilingually. "Um."

"Because," Karkat says, "it sounded like you just said--"

"Okay!" John says. Now that Karkat's pointed it out, he feels weird stopping. He picks his way around the next sentence. "I don't know, I picked up some stuff." He coughs. "You yell at me kind of a lot, dude."

"Oh, my God," Karkat says. "Oh my _God._ "

"John, that palatal l was remarkable," Rose says. "Have you been practicing?"

"Shut up," Karkat says. In English. "Come here."

John takes a wary step towards him, and Karkat fists his hand in John's shirt and drags him in for a kiss, toothy enough that he yelps but doesn't even think about pulling away. When Karkat finally lets him go there's red blood in his mouth. It might be his.

"Um," John says. "So is that a yes on making out in the lab?"

"Shut the fuck up," Karkat reiterates, and leans his head against John's. "Maybe," he says. "Maybe you should talk about it some more."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the book of love has no labial consonants [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/505922) by [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong)




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